Adapted from A Vision For Change: How to Help Someone With Addiction or Mental Illness by Rich Whitman and Melissa Deuter, MD
When a mental health or addiction crisis begins to build, people search for help and too often find that there is nowhere to go.
Start calling mental health professionals, and you’ll find that getting an appointment with a psychiatrist (a medical specialist in behavioral and mental health and addiction) takes months. So you’re left with generalist care and long wait times for specialists. Primary care physicians are the mainstay of mental health and addiction treatment providers, even when they feel that they lack the necessary training and specialized experience to provide safe care. The lack of access to psychiatric services gave life to my clinic, Sigma Mental Health Urgent Care www.sigmamhuc.com (and other clinics like it around the country) where people can find immediate help. However, the gap in services remains wide. Many families are unable to get the help they need because the outdated model of care takes too long to access and is too difficult to navigate even for those already in the system.
If you cannot get a mounting crisis under control, you might find yourself in an emergency room, where you’ll get a few tests and perhaps an assessment for a psychiatric hospital unit, but care won’t be started in most cases since ERs only provide treatments that last a few hours or days, and mental health issues span weeks, months, or years.
Get in through the door to see a mental health expert, and there are still major barriers. The standard model of healthcare delivery is one of collaboration. A person wants and needs help, seeks help, receives help. That’s how it works. Medical professionals, and probably most especially mental health specialists, are collaborative people. We want to help people with their problems, and leave them in peace to be odd, eccentric, different, or any other way that’s not the cause of a self-identified impairment. We want satisfied customers who get the assistance they are seeking. And we don’t want to force people to accept treatments that they don’t think they need—at least not unless the situation is an emergency. Typical patients arrive and say, “Can you help me? I don’t feel well.” The health professional then works together with the person to diagnose and treat the problem. It’s a very satisfying transaction for everyone involved.
Because the healthcare system works this way, finding help for a loved one who doesn’t want help, or doesn’t believe any help is necessary, requires greater effort. If you’re a family member or supportive friend, you’ll need to be part of the team when your loved one struggles with denial, not just take them and leave them to handle to appointments without your involvement. Dropping off a sick person who doesn’t want help at a mental health care appointment and leaving without communicating with anyone is a sure route to treatment failure. Although your loved one needs time alone with his therapist or doctor, it is also important that you get a chance to share information about what’s happening at home and why help is needed. Hearing your perspective can help the clinical team get to the root of the problems faster.
It’s important that you understand that your loved one has a legal right to healthcare privacy. You can’t ask for information. The purpose of your involvement in care is solely to give accurate information, so that the therapist or doctor gets the full picture.
Treatment can fall apart when families are shut out of the treatment altogether. Rather than finding a way to involve families while also enforcing healthy boundaries to protect privacy, many clinics choose to slam the door to loved ones and cite the HIPPA privacy rules as the reason for doing so.
HIPPA does not strictly prohibit speaking with family or loved ones. Patients have a legal right to privacy, but nowhere does it state that healthcare professionals are required to refuse to listen, educate, and reassure concerned loved ones. Hurried professionals probably rationalize the use of privacy rules as an excuse to refuse to talk to loved ones of patients.
If you are a friend or family member who has arranged treatment, or who drives to appointments or pays for care, it’s important to develop your own relationship with the treatment team. Introduce yourself. Ask questions. Understand your role. Build trust with the team that extends in both directions. But don’t expect to be closely involved with treatment. Know that your role is usually to sit in the waiting room, and be a resource if asked.
Be patient and let the treatment process work. Let go of any need to be in control, and instead just be supportive and present.
-
2024
- Mar 20, 2024 6 Things to Understand about Anxiety By: Dr. Chris Masuda
- Feb 21, 2024 8 Social/Emotional Skills Kids Need to Master By Age 13
- Feb 21, 2024 Austin Location
- Feb 21, 2024 5 Things your psychiatrist might be thinking of when you discuss adult ADHD guest blog by: Dr. Christine Masuda
- Feb 21, 2024 Anger Management with Astrid Truss
- 2020
-
2019
- Dec 9, 2019 8 Social/Emotional Skills Kids Need to Master By Age 13
- Nov 11, 2019 Healing from Depression is Bio-Psycho-Social-Spiritual
- Nov 4, 2019 Child Abuse Prevention Is Mental Health Prevention
- Oct 28, 2019 When Suicide Is In the News
- Sep 30, 2019 That Screen Is Stealing Your Joy
- Sep 23, 2019 There Are No More Parenting Books for an Empty Nester
- Sep 16, 2019 Psychiatry Needs More Walk-In Services
- Sep 2, 2019 Adolescence Is A Second Chance for Brain Development
- Jun 24, 2019 What is Intervention for Addiction or Mental Illness?
- Jun 17, 2019 When You Love Someone Who Needs Help and You Don't Know What to Do
- Jun 10, 2019 Finding Help in a Broken Mental Health Care System
- Jun 3, 2019 Mental Disorders, Addictions, and Insight: “There’s nothing wrong with me!”
- May 27, 2019 #Deprescribing Psych Meds
- May 6, 2019 To End A Conflict, Don’t Argue More Passionately. Yield
- Apr 29, 2019 What's Wrong With My Teenage Daughter?
- Apr 22, 2019 A Mindful Monday Mood
- Apr 15, 2019 Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder (Among Others) Get Worse When They Aren't Treated Early
- Apr 8, 2019 3 Quick Ways to Cope When Stress is High
- Apr 1, 2019 Social Media Is Making You Unhappy
- Mar 25, 2019 It's Up to Me to Change Things
- Mar 18, 2019 Getting Help for Someone You Love Shouldn’t Be This Hard
- Mar 11, 2019 Down Into Mindless Parenting
- Mar 4, 2019 7 Steps to a Rotten Spring Break
- Feb 25, 2019 Our Teens Have Everything And Nothing
- Feb 18, 2019 Dear Friends, This Is What I Really Think When I Read Your Political Post
- Feb 11, 2019 8 Steps to Getting Help for Someone
- Feb 4, 2019 The Dying Art of Diagnosis: The Failure of the Magic Checklist in Psychiatry
- Jan 21, 2019 Courage
- Jan 14, 2019 Getting Back On The College Horse After Depression
- Jan 7, 2019 Resolving to Go Back
-
2018
- Dec 17, 2018 Let’s Talk About Bipolar Disorder
- Dec 10, 2018 I Don’t Have to Teach My Daughter to Be Kind.
- Dec 3, 2018 What If You're the One Who Needs to Change?
- Nov 26, 2018 Grade Failures Roll in This Time of Year, and Parents Need to Get a Grip
- Nov 19, 2018 Planning Your Holiday: Which Is Preferable? Conflict or Loneliness?
- Nov 12, 2018 A Moment For #Mindfulness
- Nov 5, 2018 Burned Out, Exhausted Students Need Parent Support This Holiday
- Oct 29, 2018 “Us” and “Them” - Can We Talk Without Being Enemies?
- Oct 22, 2018 Start Your Week With #Mindfulness
- Oct 15, 2018 Doubting the Diagnosis
- Oct 8, 2018 Child Abuse Awareness Is Mental Health Awareness. Child Abuse Prevention Is Mental Health Prevention
- Oct 1, 2018 Your Joke About People Being "Triggered" Isn't Funny
- Sep 24, 2018 Screen Time Is Not As Relaxing As We Like To Think
- Sep 17, 2018 Myths Doctors (and Nurses) Still Believe About Suicide
- Sep 10, 2018 5 Things Every Child With A Depressed Parent Understands - by Guest Ally Golden
- Sep 3, 2018 GAPS in the Mental Health Care System
- Aug 27, 2018 Stop and Smell the Roses: Everyday Mindfulness
- Aug 13, 2018 Mean Behind a Screen
- Aug 6, 2018 Dissatisfied Customer: When You Take Your Loved One to a Mental Health Provider, You May Not Get What You Want
- Jul 23, 2018 9 Ways You Can Reduce Mental Health Stigma and Discrimination
- Jul 16, 2018 Substance Use and Mental Illness: The Chicken and the Egg?
- Jul 9, 2018 Summer Camp: A Little Independence Away from Over-Supervised Childhood
- Jul 2, 2018 It Seems Half Of Young People In Their 20’s Are Labeled With (Or Label Themselves With) A Mental Disorder. How Did We Get Here?
- Jun 25, 2018 Mental Health Symptoms May Spark from Neurobiology in The Brain, But That’s Never the Whole Story
- Jun 11, 2018 Responsible Reporting of Suicide Saves Lives
- May 28, 2018 #MemorialDay #ThankYou
- May 21, 2018 Growing Up in the Era of School Shootings
- May 14, 2018 A Mental Health Tragedy Unfolds and the System Doesn’t Have an Answer
- May 7, 2018 The Smartphones Have Taken Our Teens
- Apr 30, 2018 College Parenting on Summer Break
- Apr 23, 2018 Is It Useful To Ground A Twenty-Year-Old?
- Apr 16, 2018 The Questions Everybody Wants To Ask About Mental Health Urgent Care Clinic
- Apr 9, 2018 Q & A with Dr. D
- Apr 2, 2018 “Why Must My Daughter Go Against Everything I’ve Taught Her?”
- Mar 26, 2018 The Gut-Brain and Young Adult Depression
- Mar 5, 2018 Hiding Vulnerabilities and Imperfections
- Feb 26, 2018 Helping Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help
- Feb 19, 2018 Oh, the Things Teens Can Teach Us: Laughing at Trolls
- Feb 12, 2018 To the 21-Year-Old Living at Home with Controlling Parents
- Feb 5, 2018 Lies Your Chronic Illness Tells You
- Jan 28, 2018 “OMG, She Is So Bipolar!” There's a Better Way to Say It
- Jan 22, 2018 By Michelle Mata, Guest: The Journey to Recovery
- Jan 15, 2018 Advocacy, Integrity, and MLKDay on My Anniversary
- Jan 8, 2018 Lost at Sea: Mental Health Crisis in the Young Adult Years
- Jan 1, 2018 For a Happier 2018, Change Just One Thing: Your Expectations
-
2017
- Dec 18, 2017 After Mental Health Crisis, Well-Being Is Possible Again, But It’s Probably Not Going To Come From A Prescription Pill
- Dec 11, 2017 When Our Kids Fail
- Dec 4, 2017 Cousins Getting Along in the Holidays-- 8 Reminders for Kids
- Nov 27, 2017 Mental Health in the Holidays
- Nov 20, 2017 This Thanksgiving, Be Mindful
- Nov 13, 2017 “He just stays up in his room watching Netflix. Is that depression?”
- Oct 30, 2017 #MentalHealthAwareness is Great, But Where’s the Help?
- Oct 23, 2017 9 Tough Conversations Parents Need to Initiate
- Oct 16, 2017 Have Parenting Practices Become “Too Good” for the Good of Our Kids?
- Oct 9, 2017 Why Meds Aren’t Enough
- Oct 2, 2017 3 Questions to Ask if Your Child Is Having a Rough Start This Semester
- Sep 25, 2017 Doctor, I Know You’re Rushed, But Patients Need Reassurance
- Sep 18, 2017 5 Reasons You Need Psychosocial Rehab After a Mental Health Crisis
- Sep 11, 2017 Is It Possible To Advocate For More Mental Healthcare And Less At The Same Time?
- Sep 4, 2017 8 Normal Behaviors That Mimic Mental Health Symptoms
- Aug 28, 2017 Does Advice on “Finding Joy” Help or Harm People with Depression?
- Aug 21, 2017 Can the Solar Eclipse Bring Us Hope for Transformational Change?
- Aug 14, 2017 Families Belong on the #MentalHealthCare Treatment Team!
- Aug 7, 2017 Questions You May Have Always Wanted to Ask A Psychiatrist
- Jul 31, 2017 Grit and Mental Wellness
- Jul 24, 2017 12 Reasons Parents Are Worried About Their 20-Something Kids
- Jul 17, 2017 8 Things Every 20 Year Old Needs to Know
- Jul 10, 2017 8 Things Teens Need to Learn by 16/Driving Age
- Jul 3, 2017 8 Things Kids Need to Master By Age 13
- Jun 12, 2017 Parents: Start Off Summer Right (And Then Relax)
- May 29, 2017 Get Some Memorial Day Quiet Time
- May 22, 2017 Adult-Child Returning Home This Summer? Make Sure You Have a Plan
- May 15, 2017 #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth
- May 8, 2017 The Month of May is Stressful. 12 Ways to Cope:
- May 1, 2017 Adolescence: A Built in Second Chance for the Brain
- Apr 24, 2017 Why I Want to Hear From Your Mom
- Apr 17, 2017 Cyberbullying: Not Your Dad’s Schoolyard Fisticuffs
- Apr 10, 2017 The Secrets Inside Someone Else’s House
- Mar 27, 2017 Yes, Antidepressants Work Differently in Teen Brains
- Mar 20, 2017 Casting Light
- Mar 13, 2017 Gratitude
- Mar 6, 2017 FAQ’s: Mental Health Urgent Care
- Feb 27, 2017 10 Reasons to Stay Out of the Psychiatrist’s Office
- Feb 20, 2017 When Mom or Dad Has a Mental Illness
- Feb 13, 2017 When An Adult Child is Diagnosed With Mental Illness: A Parent’s Role
- Feb 6, 2017 Depression is Bio-Psycho-Social-Spiritual
- Jan 30, 2017 Teens in High School, and Keeping It Together, Mama
- Jan 23, 2017 What Do We Believe About Each Other?
- Jan 16, 2017 “Hey, Doc! You Support My Stance on Marijuana, Don’t You?”
- Jan 9, 2017 An Expert in Teen Mental Health (Until I Walk In the Door At Home)
- Jan 2, 2017 I’m So Depressed (No, You’re Not.)
-
2016
- Dec 19, 2016 Stigma Within the Healthcare System
- Dec 12, 2016 Today My Son Stood Up
- Dec 12, 2016 Cracks in the Dam of Mental Health Care
- Dec 5, 2016 Stepping in When Your Teen is Cyberbullied
- Nov 28, 2016 Let’s Revisit Giving Thanks
- Nov 14, 2016 America: The Kids Are Listening
- Oct 31, 2016 I Voted 2016
- Oct 24, 2016 The October Crisis
- Oct 17, 2016 In Case of Psychiatric Emergency
- Oct 10, 2016 Reacting Like a Wild Beast
- Sep 26, 2016 Doctor Mama: School’s Back Self-Care
- Sep 19, 2016 Too Much Parenting
- Sep 12, 2016 A Generation Unprepared
- Sep 5, 2016 A Plan for Living Mindfully
- Aug 22, 2016 Grief Is a Skill
- Aug 15, 2016 From Summer to School for Behavioral Special Needs (and Everyone)
- Aug 8, 2016 Psychiatric Care Is Impossible to Find. Urgent Care Clinics Provide the Solution
- Aug 1, 2016 8 Things Your Teen Cares More About Than School and Why They Matter
- Jul 25, 2016 What I Learned About Pokémon Go On Vacation With My Kids
- Jul 11, 2016 #BlackLivesMatter #DallasPoliceShooting What Do We Say to Our Kids?
- Jul 4, 2016 What It Means to Be Assertive
- Jun 27, 2016 Getting Stuck in the Sick Role
- Jun 20, 2016 Shouldn’t We Celebrate Dads With a Little More Enthusiasm?
- Jun 13, 2016 Incapable Adults
- Jun 6, 2016 A Blog Post For My Daughter
- May 30, 2016 Parenting Through the Lens of a Troubled Childhood
- May 23, 2016 You Do You and I’ll Do Me
- May 16, 2016 My Kid Looks Depressed. What Do I Do?
- May 9, 2016 Mothering Isn’t Just for Mothers
- May 2, 2016 Adult Skills
- Apr 25, 2016 Mental Health First Responders: Parents and Schools
- Apr 18, 2016 What You Don’t Know About Cyberbullying Could Hurt Your Kids
- Apr 11, 2016 Without a Successful Adolescence, Adults Don’t Fly
- Apr 4, 2016 10 Things Teens Won’t Learn In School That They Need to Hear at Home
- Mar 28, 2016 Dear Lost 20 Year Old (And His Parents),
- Mar 21, 2016 Alone Time
- Mar 7, 2016 8 Reasons I Won't Pressure My Kids About College
- Feb 29, 2016 Let Teens Climb
- Feb 15, 2016 Bouncing Back Home
- Feb 8, 2016 The Change Teens Need In the Mental Health System
- Jan 25, 2016 Can Mindfulness Reduce Social Anxiety?
- Jan 18, 2016 A Letter to My Children on MLK Day
- Jan 11, 2016 Who Am I? When Mental Illness Shapes Identity
- Jan 4, 2016 8 Simple Ways to Improve Your Health & Well-Being
-
2015
- Dec 21, 2015 10 Reasons to Be Grateful This Holiday
- Dec 14, 2015 The New Drug Epidemic: “Legal” Addictions
- Dec 7, 2015 The Risks of the Wrong Medication
- Nov 30, 2015 Kids Aren't Mirror Images of Parents
- Nov 23, 2015 Is Thanksgiving a Celebration of Binge Eating?
- Nov 16, 2015 My Holiday Break To Do List
- Nov 9, 2015 Wow! I Feel Better When I Do That!
- Nov 2, 2015 On Raising Confident, Strong Daughters
- Oct 26, 2015 Bullying?
- Oct 19, 2015 To All the Kids in Middle School:
- Oct 12, 2015 Want A Teen to Talk?
- Oct 5, 2015 Does Psychiatry Really Have the Answers for Large-Scale Shootings?
- Sep 28, 2015 Signs You’re Neglecting Basic Self-Care
- Sep 21, 2015 7 Things Worth Accepting
- Sep 14, 2015 10 Reasons Depression Is Different For a First Year College Student
- Sep 7, 2015 Tackle Avoidance in 10 Steps
- Aug 31, 2015 Safety Patrol Parenting
- Aug 24, 2015 When the Pace Gets Hectic, Reduce Stress
- Aug 17, 2015 Why Bother? When You Just Don’t Want To
- Jul 27, 2015 Parents and Kids Can Mindfully Unwind Together
- Jul 13, 2015 “Why Is It Impossible to Find a Psychiatrist?”
- Jul 6, 2015 Have Overprotective Parents Really Ruined a Generation of Kids, or Is It All Hype?
- Jun 29, 2015 When Best Friends Move Away
- Jun 22, 2015 Childhood Disorders In A Forest Gump World
- Jun 15, 2015 10 Quick Techniques to Lower Anxiety
- Jun 8, 2015 Porn at Children's Fingertips
- Jun 1, 2015 Dear Teacher, How Can I Express the Thanks You Deserve?
- May 18, 2015 The Meaningful Life
- May 11, 2015 Mom: A Performance Review
- May 4, 2015 Urgent Care for Mental Health?
- Apr 27, 2015 Dear Single Mom, You're Doing a Good Job
- Apr 20, 2015 4-20
- Apr 13, 2015 Hard Choices: When Your Teen Needs Rehab
- Apr 6, 2015 Walking Together With Mental Illness
- Mar 30, 2015 Parents: Why That ______ Worrying You Isn't So Bad
- Mar 23, 2015 10 Reasons I’m Grateful This Morning. What’s Your List?
- Mar 16, 2015 11 Reasons to Drop Everything and Go Have Fun With Your Kids
- Mar 9, 2015 Good Grief, Stop Shaming People! (and Dogs)
- Mar 2, 2015 Do We Really Listen to Our Kids?
- Feb 23, 2015 Save Your Child Years of Therapy By Doing This One Thing
- Feb 16, 2015 Saying "Get Out!" to an Adult Child
- Feb 9, 2015 13-30, The Road Toward Adulthood
- Feb 2, 2015 Don’t Consult the Doctor
- Jan 26, 2015 Why Don't My Parents Respect Me?
- Jan 19, 2015 Seeking the Opinion of a Psychiatrist?
- Jan 12, 2015 Dear Introverts, We're Sorry. -Extroverts
- Jan 5, 2015 Hey, Young People: Face Your Fears So You Can Start Your Life!
-
2014
- Dec 29, 2014 Usher in the Change You Want in 2015
- Dec 22, 2014 13 Ways to Stop Being Part of the Problem This Holiday
- Dec 15, 2014 3 Types of Gifted and Talented Disorders
- Dec 8, 2014 Let’s Say No, Because We Love Our Kids Too Much To Screw Them Up
- Dec 1, 2014 What to Do If Your College Kid is Having Psych Symptoms
- Nov 24, 2014 14 Creative Ways for Family and Guests to Express Gratitude This Thanksgiving
- Nov 17, 2014 Think You're Ready for Kids to Come Home for the Holidays?
- Nov 10, 2014 Do’s and Don’ts of Empowering Emerging Adult Children
- Nov 3, 2014 I’m Sorry, The Doctor Is Not Taking New Patients At This Time: The Sad Truth About the Overloaded Mental Healthcare System
- Oct 27, 2014 Show Your Love by Taking Care of Your Health
- Oct 20, 2014 Why I Can’t Treat My Friend’s Teenage Daughter
- Oct 13, 2014 In Praise of Good Men
- Oct 6, 2014 Technology’s Influence on the Family (It’s Not All Negative)
- Sep 29, 2014 Parenting Lessons From My Dog
- Sep 22, 2014 Beat Family Burnout
- Sep 15, 2014 Youth In Recovery, Maybe You Can't Go Home Again
- Sep 8, 2014 Catch or Release: Gatekeeping in Mental Health
- Sep 1, 2014 Will Science Unlock the Secrets to Mental Disorders?
- Aug 25, 2014 Should We Send All Kids to College?
- Aug 18, 2014 15 Surefire Ways to Brighten Your Mood
- Aug 11, 2014 Responding to Crisis in the College Years
- Aug 4, 2014 College Parents: 4 Ways to Prepare Yourself
- Jul 28, 2014 Do Young Adults in Your Life Act Like Teenagers?
- Jul 21, 2014 The Most Important Talk to Have Before Your Kid Goes to College
- Jul 14, 2014 A Parent's Effect on a Child’s Love of Responsible Adulthood
- Jul 7, 2014 Prevent Your Teen From Drinking For As Long As Possible
- Jun 30, 2014 Moving Out Creates Anxiety for Introverts
- Jun 23, 2014 Wondering How to Prepare Your Teen for Adulthood?
- Jun 16, 2014 Can Emerging Adulthood Be Mistaken For Mental Illness?
- Jun 9, 2014 Stop With The Unwanted Advice!
- Jun 2, 2014 Be A Beacon of Hope For Your Loved One With Mental Illness
- May 26, 2014 Mental Illness and Mass Violence
- May 19, 2014 Defining A Parent’s Role After A Child Leaves Home
- May 12, 2014 How Families Can Re-Group After College Withdrawal
- May 5, 2014 Effectively Parenting Older Teens
- Apr 28, 2014 5 Shortcomings of Young Adult Psychiatric Care
- Apr 21, 2014 5 Things To Discuss Before Your Teen Heads Off To College
- Apr 13, 2014 Why Is Everyone "For" Or "Against" Treating Mental Disorders?
- Apr 7, 2014 Twenty-Something’s at Work: Bridging the Gap
- Mar 31, 2014 Depression Diagnosis in Teens: Is Decreasing Stigma Putting Normal Teens at Risk?
- Mar 24, 2014 Parents: First-Line Healthcare Advocates
- Mar 17, 2014 Tips for Parent’s to Instill Healthy Skills in Kids at Any Stage
- Mar 10, 2014 Armchair Personality Disorder Diagnosis Unhelpful
- Mar 3, 2014 What To Do If Your Twenty-Something Is Moving Back Home
- Feb 24, 2014 31 (More) Skills A Teen Needs Before Leaving Home
- Feb 17, 2014 My Tiger Parents Shaped Me Into A Hollow Young Adult: Evan Speaks on His Own Behalf
- Feb 10, 2014 Parental Protection: Beautiful, Or Misguided?
- Feb 3, 2014 Another Tragic Loss
- Jan 27, 2014 Are Psychiatrist’s Labeling Healthy Young Adults as Mentally Ill?
- Jan 20, 2014 Academic Ability ≠ College Success
- Jan 13, 2014 The Hazy Line from Teen to Adult
-
2013
- Dec 28, 2013 Welcome