Adult-Child Returning Home This Summer? Make Sure You Have a Plan

More and more adult children are living at home with their parents. Some stay at home and start adulthood from the safety of the family home. Others return home on breaks, or after completing education to look for a job. Still others end up back home because something in their plans has gone off track.

 

Whatever the reason for your son or daughter coming back home, you’re going to need to step back and consider your rules. Why?

·      Adult children come home and regress. They become like irresponsible teenagers

·      Parents and adult children often have differing expectations

·      They’ll want to be treated as adults, but you won’t want to pay for it

·      They’re used to making their own decisions. You’re used to running your own home.

·      What are you going to do, ground them?

·      Nobody wants to live in constant conflict

 

What kind of plan do you need?

·      A written plan, agreed upon by all parties

·      Spells out the house rules

·      Says who is in charge of what

·      Defines how resources will be used (the car, the cash, the house)

·      Clarifies expectations: “work full time” or “clean up your own dishes after you cook”

·      Defines limits (all doors must be locked by midnight, the credit card is only for emergencies, no drinking, no drugs, no overnight guests)

 

You have written out the plan, now what do you do?

·      Sit down and review it together

·      Ask if what’s written is clear and if everyone understands

·      Make adjustments if needed

·      Sign it

·      Post it on a wall

·      Refer back to it when things get off track

Posted on May 22, 2017 by Melissa Deuter.