Grief Is a Skill

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Loss is a part of life. 
     Loss due to death. 
     Loss due to separation. 
     Loss due to change.

Losses bring painful feelings, often beginning with confusion or dull senses as well as intense anger or rage, and then settling in to a deep sadness. We mourn.

These may seem like experiences to be avoided. When experiencing loss, one may avoid painful emotions by staying busing, self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, or otherwise making no space for the deep sadness to settle in.

But experiencing the pain of loss can be a profoundly transforming experience. The confusion and dulled senses cast a spotlight on our vulnerability to filter everything through the limitations of a human mind. Anger points to the intensity of our caring and reminds us what we hold dear. And the sadness can bring deep spiritual awareness, a connection with a greater meaning or sense of order in the universe, with the Creator. 

Grieving is a skill, and an important one. We learn through personal experience and then pass this skill on to our children. 

During losses, we sit with our children in support and love, and we show them how to hold sadness and experience the great spiritual awareness that comes with it. Grieving connects us all. 

The rituals we hold in times of death or loss guide our capacities to cope. Grief can be beautiful if we allow it to come and transform us. It brings wisdom and spiritual openness. 

Posted on August 22, 2016 by Melissa Deuter.