When the Pace Gets Hectic, Reduce Stress

Every fall, daily life starts to run at a little faster pace. The start of school brings increased responsibility and hectic rushing from place to place for many families. For others, it means increases in traffic on the road, busy retail stores and restaurants, and increased stress everywhere. 

To reduce the stress:

Choose a sensible bedtime and stick to it.
    With the start of the school year, even households without children are likely to be waking earlier in the morning to beat the traffic. Rather than sacrificing much needed sleep, change up the evening schedule and get to bed a little bit earlier. As the days add up, all those extra hours of sleep will keep you physically and emotionally healthier.

Cut the screen time way back.
    Flashy screens are the enemy of mindful presence. In other words, when you’re staring at a screen, you’re in a kind of no-man’s-land, not quite here, not quite someplace else. Instead, try turning off the devices and tuning in to the present moment. Look your dinner companion in the eye. Watch the sunset. You’ll feel less stressed, and as a side benefit, your days will feel longer.

Maintain daily routines.
    Routines make us feel better. Whether that’s a daily morning walk, a spiritual devotional along with your cup of coffee, or sitting down to dinner at precisely 6 o’clock, sticking to a routine is comforting and reduces the stress of a faster paced schedule.

Slow down and make a plan.
    It may seem counterintuitive when you’re rushing around, doing too much, but sometimes the key is to just slow down. Taking a few minutes on the weekend to plan meals for the week and make a grocery list with that plan in mind, for example, can cut out a lot of daily stress. Stopping to plan can minimize the number of moments you’ll be running around like a chicken without a head, ineffectively managing everything.

Get back to basics.
    Does everyone in the family have clean socks? Is there bread for sandwiches, in case someone prefers to pack a lunch? Is the house in basic working order (not in disarray)? Minding the basic needs of the household first can reduce stress for everyone. Before you get fancy, do the little things.

Cut out the junk.
    Whether it’s food and beverage, or gossip news stories online, cutting out your unhealthy choices can reduce stress and add time to your busy day. If it runs your energy down, it’s probably junk that can go.

Why Bother? When You Just Don’t Want To

A young man said to me in a mental health appointment a few days ago that (after he emerged from a long period of depression), he knows he needs to reconnect with some friends, get out of the house, find a new job, and get his life back on track, but he doesn’t want to do any of it. And then he looked at me, and he made a peculiar remark: “It must be easy for you to get up and go to work every day. You like your job.”

Well I do like my job, but I don’t think anyone bounces out of bed and off into the world day after day, year after year, without encountering times when doing so is difficult. I told him so.

If that’s true, he asked me, “Why does anyone do it?”

What makes any of us roll out of bed every day? Or call a friend or family member, despite feeling tired from a long day? Why do we overcome our feelings in a given moment and do what is important, or promised, or valued over what is fun or easy? For a young person starting out, or someone trying to bounce back from depression, the answer to a question like this may not be intuitive or obvious. 

Feelings are only a small part of the equation.
Most people would agree that getting ready to go to work every day involves some measure of dread. “I loathe the commute to the office.” “I’m worried I’ll never catch up on my paperwork.” “It’s been a long week, and I just wish I could sleep late today.” However, in the presence of such feelings, most people move forward anyway. Doing the thing that is right, or important, supersedes the emotion. We do it anyway.

Once we get going, the feelings might change.
In transit to the office, commuters might find that the drive is not as stressful as anticipated. Maybe the morning talk show on the radio draws us in, or the blue sky is clear and beautiful. Maybe we misjudged the unpleasantness of the transition, and getting to where we were going wasn’t so unpleasant after all. Maybe starting a conversation with a friend is rewarding and positive in ways we hadn’t anticipated before dialing the phone.

What about the bigger picture ?
When it comes to maintaining relationships, or getting to work, many of us don’t just participate because it’s easy and fun in the moment, often there’s a larger context. Maybe we return a call to a friend who is grieving because she needs support (not because it’s an enjoyable call). Maybe we go to work because someone relies on us to be there, or because we need money to pay rent. Not every task begins with an overwhelming enthusiasm for the activity itself; sometimes there’s a larger context driving our motivations.

Sometimes it’s just about moral values.
Some days people accomplish things because we believe the tasks are the right things to do. We straighten our living spaces out of consideration for family members or roommates who share them. We fulfill our contracts because we gave our word to do so. We perform our roles because we see ourselves as part of a larger community, contributing for the benefit of others, not just ourselves. We strive toward important goals to accomplish them for the betterment of our communities. We do many things because we believe those are simply the right things to do, based on our moral values relevant to the situations we face.

Parents and Kids Can Mindfully Unwind Together

Our lives are overfull. Even when we sit down to “relax,” our homes are filled with artificial noise and light. Screens are bright with intrusions that constantly flood our brains.

If your life needs a little quiet, try these family friendly steps to mindfully unwind:

1.    Turn off the TV
2.    Put down the smart phone
3.    Turn down the lights
4.    Quiet the chatter in your mind
5.    Check in with all 5 senses
6.    Notice your breathing. Count the number of seconds you take to breathe in, and then the number you breathe out.

Or

1.    Put on your walking shoes
2.    Head outside into nature
3.    Stop and look up. Notice what you see.
4.    Stop and look down. Notice that too.
5.    Find a tiny bug and watch how it moves
6.    Listen to the outdoor sounds and wonder what makes them